Desert Moon Page 19

  She sank to the ground, not heeding the violent storm soaking her, turning her into a muddy, crumpled figure. For better or worse, she had chosen. Why should another verse learned years before haunt her at this moment? It was Joshua 24:15—“Choose you this day whom ye will serve…but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” She impatiently refused to admit her slight hesitation, replacing it with Phillip’s laughing face. He would ask her again to marry him. Next time there would be no hesitation. After all, hadn’t he said he’d known all kinds of girls and women?

  Some of her triumph faded. Had he kissed those others the way he did her? She would never tell him he was the only one who had kissed her, but she was glad. She had kept her promise and waited; he had come differently than expected. With a smile, she returned to the present. If she had wanted solitude at the canyon, she had it. No one would be out in this storm.

  But she had been wrong. A dark shape hurried toward her. “Honor! I’ve looked everywhere for you.” His voice was filled with fear, for her, she knew. Suddenly all her troubles were gone. Phillip had come for her.

  “I’m here, Phillip. You’ve found me.”

  He peered into her face, seeing the way it was turned to him.

  “Honor!” The next moment she was caught close in an embrace that deepened as she sighed and relaxed against him. Surely it must be right when she felt so happy. She lifted her mouth, and in the storm on the canyon’s edge, returned Phillip’s kiss. She didn’t care if the storm never let up. She had fought so long against the fact of her family’s death. It was sheer heaven to lean on someone stronger.

  This time it was Phillip who broke away. “Honor—you care. To kiss me like that—a girl like you—it must mean you care.” He caught her in his arms, carrying her slight frame, running back through the rain as if he would never let her go.

  “Put me down, Phillip! What will they all say?” She struggled furiously, but he rained more kisses on her wet mouth and hair.

  “Who cares? We’ll just announce our engagement at dinner tonight.” He set her down just inside the door, still with his arms around her, his face lit up with triumph.

  “Engagement!” A cold chill went through her. “Phillip, you’re mad. We can’t announce an engagement now.”

  Doubt crept into his face, and his reply was cynical. “Then you’re like the rest of them? Lead a man on and toss him aside?”

  It hit her cruelly. “Phillip! Of course I’m not like that. It’s just too soon—no one would ever understand. I’m not sure I understand myself.” She blushed. “What would the Stones think?”

  His face softened, and he took both her hands in his. “It’s all right, Honor. I’m sorry.” One lock of wet hair dangled in front of his eyes, making him look like a truant schoolboy. “You’re absolutely right. We’ll wait and announce it at the end of your vacation here.”

  “We’ll see.” She knew her color heightened under his ardent gaze. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get into some other clothes.”

  Phillip threw back his head and laughed. “You look like a drowned squirrel. Run along, my dear, and meet me back down here when you’ve changed.”

  The glow and tingle of Honor’s skin wasn’t all caused by her stinging shower. Phillip loved her. Phillip Travis loved her! She raced through her dressing. She mustn’t wait one minute longer than necessary. She wanted every bit of time with him she could find. To think, a few weeks ago she had been a poor, forsaken person feeling sorry for herself. Today she was loved—and loved in return. Memories of her parents’ happy years glorified her feeling for Phillip.

  “Tell me about your home,” she urged as they sat together on a big couch in the lobby later. They had eluded his friends, who were going to a dance. Phillip had wickedly whispered, “I don’t want any man’s arms around you but mine.” Honor’s heart had pounded. Dancing was another thing she didn’t do.

  Now Phillip relaxed against the couch and stared into the huge fireplace with its dancing flames. “I suppose the story goes back to my great-grandfather. He married a wealthy Spanish girl, and they acquired Casa del Sol.”

  “House of the Sun,” she translated.

  “You know Spanish?” He sounded surprised.

  “No, I—I remembered.” She wouldn’t tell him how she had treasured that phrase all the long, lonely months after he went away.

  “Funny, I love it even though I’m not there much. Too busy having a good time. Now that you’ll be there with me…” His look said volumes.

  Honor hastily changed the subject. “Phillip, Babs looked at me tonight as if she hated me.”

  “Babs and I grew up together, had a lot of fun. I even would have married her a few years ago. She turned me down cold. Now if she wants me back it’s just too bad.”

  She was shocked by his callousness but soothed as he added, “Babs and I are alike—too selfish, demanding. I won’t be that way with you.” There was an air of humility about him that Honor sensed was foreign to his nature.

  “I’m glad you told me, Phillip. Now let’s forget it. If she didn’t care a few years ago, she probably doesn’t care now.” But when Honor entered her room that night, lips still tingling from Phillip’s good-night kiss, she gasped in dismay.

  Seated in a chair by the window, Babs waited, enmity in every fold of her exquisite green gown.

  “Do come in.” Her voice was mocking. “It is your room.”

  “What are you doing here?” Honor barely had breath to ask. She had been shaken to turn from Phillip and suddenly meet the girl he had once loved.

  “I thought we should perhaps have a little talk. You seem to be occupied during the day and evening, so I came here.” She motioned insolently to the bed. “You might as well sit down; I intend to be here for some time.”

  Honor wondered if her shaking knees would carry her that far. “If you are going to tell me all about you and Phillip, you don’t need to bother. I already know. He told me.”

  “Did he indeed! I doubt that he told you all about us.” The green eyes glittered like algae in a lake, murky and treacherous. “Did he tell you that we have been engaged for years?” She held out a long white hand with bloodred nails. A huge emerald winked a wicked eye from the third finger.

  Chapter 3

  Honor felt as if she had been stabbed. “Engaged?”

  “Of course.” Was pity mixed with anger in the other’s eyes? “Don’t be a little fool. Every time we go on a jaunt Phillip finds a girl. Not always one like you, I’ll have to admit. But when vacation’s over, he forgets. Didn’t he do just that when he left you in San Francisco?” She hardened again. “He knows we will marry when I get ready. Maybe even soon.”

  “I don’t believe you.” The sinking feeling in Honor’s heart belied her words.

  “I suggest you think about it. Don’t rush into anything. Once Phillip gets away from the canyon and you, well, he will laugh at his romantic little interlude.” Babs rose, magnificently stretching to full height like a sleek cat. “Let him go. It’s for your own good.”

  Strength born of fear flowed through Honor as she remembered little things about Phillip. She must defend herself—and him. “Phillip will be going first. He has asked the Stones and me to visit Casa del Sol. Even if they have to leave, Phillip says Mama Rosa will chaperone me.”

  “You can bet your sweet life on that!”

  Honor ignored the bitter interruption. “We won’t get married until we have time to know each other. When we do, I’ll be Mrs. Phillip Travis, and nothing can change it!”

  “I wouldn’t count on it.” Babs glided to the door. “I wonder what Phillip’s brother will say about you.” Her laugh brought color to Honor’s face. “He’s a hundred years older than Phillip in outlook.”

  “That’s why Phillip is going first.” Honor wished she had bitten her tongue when she saw the triumph on Babs’s face. “Phillip is sincere—”

  “I thought so.” The redhead pounced on the first half of Honor’s sta
tement. “As far as sincere—Phillip wouldn’t recognize the meaning of the word if it bit him on his handsome nose. If you expect sincerity, you’d better run as far and fast as you can from Phillip Travis.” Babs’s eyes shifted then fixed their cold stare on Honor. “You’re one of those do-gooders, aren’t you? Then don’t deliberately walk into a lion’s den.” She must have caught Honor’s look of surprise. “I went to church—a long time ago, before I met Phillip. Don’t think you can change him.”

  Honor felt herself stiffen. “I’m sure your advice is well meant, but I believe I know what the real Phillip Travis is like. I am going to marry him someday.”

  Honor could see emotions warring in Babs’s face—pity, disgust, hatred, contempt. Pity won. “Then, my dear little governess, may the gods have mercy on you. You’ll need it.”

  The door opened and closed behind her, leaving Honor alone—more alone than she had been even waiting for Keith to come home. The storm in the canyon was as nothing compared to the storm in her heart. Incredible as it seemed, Babs did love Phillip. Then why hadn’t she married him when she had the chance? Honor shivered, remembering the callous way Phillip had spoken of Babs. What if he were to say the same about her? No! Her shocked, white face in the mirror denied the traitorous thought. Phillip loved her. Yet hadn’t he loved Babs when he once asked her to marry him?

  Minutes ticked into hours, and the questions did not cease. Once Honor thought of digging out the Bible Granny had given her so long ago, but discarded the idea. She had made her choice, forfeited her right to expect God’s help. She might not be a Christian, but she did know scripture, and God didn’t bless those who deliberately turned away from Him. With the first touch of dawn she slipped to the stairs. She would get away from her accusing walls.

  As she descended the stairs she heard the clink of silver and laughter from those who were preparing the dining room for breakfast. For a moment she envied the happy workers who came from all over the United States to work with the summer crowds at the canyon. The next moment she slipped outside and ran to the canyon’s edge.

  “It’s unbelievable!” A small squirrel eyed her in alarm and scuttled away. Honor’s eyes were no longer heavy. The early morning canyon mists had driven away need for sleep.

  How could it be so different, bathed in the almost-ethereal glow of morning? She had seen it in daylight, darkness, storm. Now it had changed completely. No wonder she had read that she wouldn’t see the canyon but experience it.

  Honor pulled her cape closer against the chill morning air, watching lazy patches of mist yield to the insistent sun. A tug within reminded her of the struggle from the night before. Some of the beauty dimmed. Why couldn’t she put aside the childhood teachings now she had made her choice? Must they forever haunt her?

  The sun burst over the canyon wall after sending heralding streaks to announce its arrival. “If only Keith were here!” she cried to the warming rays. But Keith wasn’t here. He would never see the canyon. Her face hardened. If he had come back, perhaps she could have accepted the Lord he believed in so strongly. But not now. She had her life to live, and the splendor around her showed that the world could still be beautiful. She would find strength for whatever might come, but not through Christ.

  “Good morning, my darling.”

  Honor whirled from the canyon, feeling betraying color flooding her face. Phillip was standing a few feet away. His appearance shocked her. Where was the frightening man Babs had described? This was Phillip, eyes soft, hand outstretched—the same Phillip who had come for her in the storm the day before.

  “I thought I would find you here.” He led her a little apart from the other sightseers, seeking privacy beneath the spreading branches of a tall, gnarled tree. “You’re even more beautiful in the morning sunlight than you are drenched from a storm!”

  Relief filled Honor until she would have fallen if he had not held her arm. Still, she could not speak. It was the same as coming from the storm into a lighted room—protected, safe, secure. She raised her face to his.

  “You’re the sweetest girl on earth, Honor.” His husky whisper brought her back.

  “And you’re the most wonderful man.” She was rewarded by a look of almost humility in his face.

  “I don’t deserve you, you know.”

  Honor felt a strange surge of power and covered it by agreeing. “Of course not!”

  Phillip’s expression changed to match her gaiety. “You rascal! Let’s get some breakfast. We’re signed up for the mule trip into the canyon, and it will be leaving soon.”

  “We are what?” Honor’s eyes filled with horror. “You won’t get me on any mule going down there!” Her scornful finger indicated a narrow, winding path leading down along the gigantic rock walls, melting into infinity around a bend.

  “Of course I will. Ben and Heather can hardly wait to get started. I thought you were excited about going.”

  “I was,” she confessed in a small voice, “until I saw the trail.”

  “You’ll be fine.” Phillip innocently added, “Even Babs went last year, and you know she isn’t about to go in any danger.”

  She eyed him suspiciously then relented. “If I fall in the canyon it will be on your conscience.”

  “You don’t really think I’d ever take you where it was unsafe, do you?” Phillip’s gaze settled her more than anything else could have done. “You’ll be as safe as home in your rocking chair. Ben will be right behind you; Heather and I will be in front of you.”

  But when breakfast was over and they were ready to go she couldn’t help trying once more, appealing to Phillip when the others weren’t listening. “Are you sure you want me to go? What if I faint?” She didn’t tell him she had never fainted in her entire life. “I’d slow down the whole group.”

  “Look at me!” Heather piped up, already seated on the mule Phillip would ride. She looked so tiny Honor had another qualm. “She’ll be all right, won’t she?”

  “With me here?” Phillip just smiled. “Simple as riding a rocker.” He helped her mount a shaggy beast who turned and looked her over then disinterestedly went back to cropping the sparse grass by the trail. She found herself patting his shoulders timidly, wishing he were a little burro with a cross, instead of just an ornery mule.

  “We won’t stay overnight this time,” Phillip told her. “Next time, after we’re married—”

  “Next time!” Honor glared. “If you think there will be a—”

  “As I was saying…” He flashed his famous grin. “They are talking of building a real accommodation in the bottom of the canyon. Phantom Ranch, I think it will be called. But this time we’ll just stop for lunch then climb back out this afternoon. We go down several thousand feet. It will be hot.” He looked approvingly at her lightweight jacket, which could be removed. “It’s going to be a real pleasure educating you in all the things you’ve never done before, Honor.”

  Honor’s face flamed. Would she always blindly follow his lead, trailing along as she was now trailing on her mule? Her natural common sense and good humor took over.

  So what if she did? She’d lead him, too, though in more subtle ways. She clutched her reins, eyes sparkling, and looked straight ahead.

  “Don’t look down,” the guide warned as they rounded a hairpin curve what seemed like eons later. Honor had slid off her jacket, and the warm sun hit her back with its rays.

  “Close your eyes if you like, and don’t be scared,” Phillip called.

  What now? Honor had swallowed her heart countless times already. One by one the mules ahead slowed then doubled back on themselves to disappear around the hairpin bend. Closer and closer Honor came until she reached the edge of eternity. Her eyes were fixed straight ahead as she had been told—until Old Baldy’s neck shot downward, over the edge of the rim. Involuntarily Honor glanced down, following the line of ears with her gaze, and froze. It was terrible. It was grand. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to her.

  “You’re do
in’ fine, miss.” The guide’s brown face split into a white smile. “Forgot to tell you. Old Baldy always like to crop a little grass right here.” He didn’t seem to notice how the reins were being held in a death grip that whitened her knuckles. “Just let him eat a bit and he’ll make the turn just fine.”

  Honor couldn’t have answered if her life had depended on it—and maybe it did. She just sat. Old Baldy finished his leisurely munching, turned, and followed the others. The weakness seeping through her almost unseated Honor, but with trembling fingers she managed to clutch the reins and smile weakly. She had kept herself from screaming. Now she even managed to smile at Heather.

  From that point on, nothing frightened Honor. She had faced the worst with silence. Even the splash of Old Baldy’s hooves as he forged through a creek at the bottom of the canyon didn’t daunt her. When she fell off her mule into Phillip’s arms, it was triumphantly. He need never know the last mile of trail had been managed by sheer determination.

  “Well, Honor, wasn’t it worth it?”

  She gazed around her, really seeing the canyon bottom for the first time. The valley floor lay before her, an oasis of lush greenness. The burbling Colorado River ran red and sluggish. She was glad she had not had to cross that!

  “It’s—” She couldn’t find words.

  Phillip tenderly smoothed back clinging tendrils of damp hair from her hot face. “I know. That’s why I come here.”

  Again she was aware of depths within him that did not ordinarily show. Her heart gave a great leap of joy. Surely he would understand and accept the way of life she had chosen, once they were married and she was able to tell him the happiness she had found in it.

  “I feel like a glutton,” Honor confessed later as she surveyed the shambles of her plate. “I didn’t realize anyone could be so hungry!”

  “Remarkable how fresh air and exercise can work up an appetite, isn’t it?” The grizzled guide had seated himself next to Honor. “Nothing ever tastes so good as outdoor food. Say, if you’re going to be around long, you should plan on some of the other canyon trips. You did a good job today. I’d say you could even tackle some of the rough trails.”